ladies-standing-at-beach-during-sunset-costa-rica-photo-by-michael fernandez

Growing Pains

Of course we have all heard of growing pains, those achy muscles, tendons or even bones that hit a growth spurt during our pubescent years. Maybe you’ve experienced tender or sore muscles after a workout routine but let me ask another question: Have you ever experienced pain from emotional growth or better yet someone else’s emotional growth?

I’m sure you have but have never actually framed the situation like this before. We may have perceived their actions as hurtful or thoughtless, maybe even careless because the other persons’ actions did not seem to factor you, your emotions or your needs into account. 

Growth can and should happen on many different levels or facets. 

Of course on the physical plane we grow bigger and stronger but sometimes we can grow weaker or more vulnerable which is all part of the growth process but not the focus of this message. 

Growth to me has always meant growing of roots into the ground; the ground being this area, Uvita and the Central Pacific zone of Costa Rica, and the pain perceived from having less and less attachment to my (our) former selves or lives.  

Growing pains can also mean that our growth is causing someone else pain – be it family members, loved ones current or former and business partners, this list goes on. 

From my perspective its new and exciting but to those left behind, our growth may be the cause of their pain. 

We are often unaware of how our growth can affect those around us but we think positively but sometimes our growth can trigger negative affects, hence growing pains. Have you ever crossed a proverbial bridge in you life and just knew there was no looking back?

For many of us whom have expatriated to Costa Rica left wonderful lives behind including the most amazing friends (whom I used to hang out with daily but I’ve not seen in almost 10 years) and there’s no need to even discuss family here. I hail from Kentucky which is about as homegrown as a person can be in the United States. We pride ourselves on our family bonds (save the lame jokes for a less serious occasion) so its tough for us to not see our siblings and share meals. And I haven’t made it to a Holiday celebration in all these years. Birthdays and graduations, latest juicy gossip… all via video chat. We all know that it’s just not the same, for us or for the ones who love us. 

Of course these have been the choices that I have made but they are synonymous with what growing pains mean to me. I’m here striving to be a better version of my ideal self every day but inside there will always be the pain when I acknowledge some of the things that Had to be left behind. 

Has it been worth it? The trials? The tribulations? The growing pains that I’ve felt and experienced since moving here in 2012? Absolutely but let me predicate that by say ouchy. There have been many bumps and bruises, mentally, physically, emotionally, and metaphorically but the scars that remain are the sign that growth is actually taking place. 

Be conscious as you happily and healthily grow toward the light but please be aware of those closest to us that (our canopy) we may be casting a shadow upon. The growing pains that are being experienced may not be your own. 

Written by Michael Zoz

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