Friends hugging

Pickled in Paradise

Oh, 2020. What to do with you? Never has the adage, “May you live in interesting times” (whether you believe it to be a passive aggressive Chinese curse or simply an exaggerated excerpt from a Robert Kennedy speech) ever been more applicable than this year. We’ve welcomed a new decade, experienced a worldwide pandemic that was severe enough to kabash Costa Rica’s hallowed Semana Santa and to add a cherry on top, there have been several giant planet crushing asteroids that hurdled towards planet Earth, luckily for us they missed, but in case you haven’t felt like the last few months weren’t bizarre enough to be taken from a bad Bruce Willis movie, well we can always talk aliens! Interesting times indeed.

In spite of all this, we should try to embrace the true Pura Vida spirit of it all, because just like a pancake has two sides no matter how flat you make it, every situation, no matter how unexpected and weird, has its pros and cons. So for those of us lucky enough to be ‘stranded’ in Costa Rica during this time, here’s a few good and bad aspects we can all relate to.

DISADVANTAGES OF THE QUARANTINE 

  • Weekend Whimsy: Remember the days when we could drive Saturday and Sunday, no matter what number our license plate ended with? Those were wild times, right? Remember to savour the right, when restrictions end.
  • Beach Bans: Yellow police tape has never been in such high demand and oh so prevalent, as well as anticlimactic as we see beach fronts taped off from North to South end. Whoever invested in that stock option, good for you! 
  • Minimal Intimacy: Surely we can all agree that life isn’t nearly as fulfilling without those tropically induced moist handshakes and sweaty faux cheek’n’kiss greetings for all your friends and friends-of-friends and that one guy you don’t really know or like. Just a wave will now suffice.

ADVANTAGES OF THE QUARANTINE

  • Less Traffic: Don’t you fondly remember that super dangerous ten-way intersection that involved heavily used conflicting dual turn lanes and stop signs to cross the Costanera highway that had weekly lethal accidents? No. No one misses that.
  • New Hobbies: You can finally learn how to roast those potentially poisonous cashews at home, and if you’re feeling really ambitious, you can attempt to make your own chicha (fermented booze) from the remaining fruit. And while you’re flouting your green thumb, you can finally appreciate, harvest and eat that pineapple growing in your yard, which, lo and behold, don’t come from trees (who knew?!).
  • Extended Visas: For those not fortunate enough to have residency, 90-day visa trips are a common occurrence. However, due to border closures the Costa Rica government has graciously extended immigrant visa requirements. While we might reminisce about the highly discounted duty free liquor, it never sucks being allowed to be ‘stuck’ in paradise.  
  • Different Norms: Smelling like guaro isn’t just for benders, holidays or Tuesday anymore; that cheap alcohol aroma is the new ‘eau de corona’ disinfectant and it’s not going anywhere soon. 

So with all this in mind, let’s drink up, live it up, wash up and don’t judge that guy sleeping a little too soundly in the ditch in the middle of the day – we all social distance in our own way.

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”

– Elbert Hubbard

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